Well, I have so much on my mind tonight, so I am going to try my best to clear it as best I can.
Amazing things happen when you read the bible. On August 31, my good friend, Lindsay, wrote a shout out on Facebook that she was going to read the New Testament in 90 days and asked if anyone wanted to join her. I was hands down in. What would be a better motivator than to have a reading schedule and someone to read along with and keep me accountable? I have spent far too long away from the bible. Sure, I've heard the bible verses and passages in church, read some online when friends post them on facebook, and looked up a few occasional verses that were no longer on the tip of my tongue so I could pass them along to others when the time was right. But I have not sat and read the bible obediently or routinely. Since starting my reading on September 1st, I have grown so much closer to the Lord and have began to really look back to where I started with my walk with God and what brought me there, what the Lord has brought me through and where He has put me today.
I apologize if this blog is random; with misplaced sentences, paragraphs, thoughts and ideas. I truly have so much on my mind that I don't know where to start, what to say next, or how to link my thoughts because they ARE so random.
PRAYER
While I was thinking about what started my walk with the Lord and who those key people in my life were who showed me the way to Jesus, I instantly began to think of Cindy Long. Cindy was the mother of one of my older brother's best friends. She didn't have a child in my grade, but she had a son a year older, a daughter a year younger, and another son the same age as my younger brother, who were the best of friends from kindergarten through high school. I am sure I had met Cindy on many occasions, but I really started to get to know her when I was invited to youth group at her church. I really don't even know who invited me? Was it her daughter, Rachel? Maybe. Probably. Anyway, I began to go to youth group despite my parents' disapproval. They were not keen on the idea of me hanging out at a non-catholic church. I was a typical teenager and became super rebellious on this issue and took every opportunity to go, even if it meant lying about where I was. (yes, I realize that most people lie to their parents about where they are going because they are headed to a party or off to do something illegal, or highly dangerous....but this was me being dangerous.... haha). I was even able to go to a Christian church one Sunday because I spent the night at a friends house (my previously mentioned good friend, Lindsay, as a matter of fact...). however, when I got back to Lindsay's house after church, my mom was on the porch and didn't look so happy. Needless to say, I don't think I was ever able to spend a Saturday night there again. And I was grounded for a month.
Anyway, getting back on track here...... as I started to think about Cindy and what she meant to me in regards to my walk with the Lord, it was almost an instant, overwhelming feeling of gratitude. What would my life be today, if she had not been there to help guide my way? Of course, her daughter, Rachel, gets a lot of credit as well, because she is the one who initially invited me to the Creation Festival. It was there, on July 26, 1999, that I gave Jesus my heart and said "I'm yours". It was there that I began my walk with the Lord. And it was there that my life had changed for the better and the reason I am who I am today. My parents were NOT at all convinced that I should get to go to this festival, but I think Cindy had some influence on them to allow me to go with them.
Again, getting back on track here......
While thinking about Cindy, one of my favorite things about her was that she truly cared about me. About everyone. She had 3 kids of her own, but she was so open to everyone and it was so easy to talk to her and share things and it just felt like I was also a part of the family. I know there are A LOT of people that have felt that way with her. Something that Cindy always did that touched my heart SO much, was that she prayed for me. She didn't just tell me that she would pray for me, she would just DO IT! If I had an issue or something that was bothering me or nervous about something coming up in my life, or whatever it was, she would just drop what she was doing, grab my hand or put her hand on me and lift me up in prayer.
Let me tell you this: there is nothing more powerful than the feeling of someone praying for you. It is an immediate burden-lifter-sigh-of-relief-sweat-dried-up-weight-off-your-shoulders kind of feeling. Absolutely amazing. Few people in my life have had this trait. When it happens now, I have to choke back tears, because it truly moves me enough to make me cry. I love it when people care that much. A lot of people say, "I will pray for you", "you are in my prayers", "I'll keep you in my prayers".... but do they really? Or do they forget about it as quickly as they said it? I know I have been guilty of this before. Which is why I started to keep a prayer journal years ago and I would actually write those things down in my journal and I go through them at least once a day and lift each request up in prayer. How much better, and how much more powerful, would it be to stop, take a moment, lay a hand on someone and PRAY for them.
Like I said, I have only known a few people in my life that would actually do this. I had a friend in college named Erica that I was super close to and she had this amazing trait as well. She inspired me so much to where I became that person. I was the one asking, "can I pray for you" to people and actually doing it there, in that moment. It didn't matter where we were. Erica and I could have been in the courtyard at school, the cafeteria, the mall, church, our apartment, or even over the phone. And she would still pray for me. It was a powerful thing. I don't know why I stopped or why I have slowed down. But I want to be that person again. So, I have decided that instead of telling people I will pray for them I am just going to do it. Why not?
BAPTISM
I have not been baptized. Well, I suppose I have been baptized as an infant in the Catholic church, but for me, that is not the same as getting baptized as an adult per MY choice. In the Catholic Church, you are baptized as an infant by your parents and godparents who are making a commitment to bring this baby up in a way that pleases the Lord, and bring the child up through the church with the Catholic faith. Later, when you are in high school, you are confirmed, which is supposed to be your choice; which is relateable to adult baptism in my opinion. I was also confirmed in high school. I was reluctant to get confirmed. I didn't want to upset my parents, knowing how much they already hated the idea that I "wasn't Catholic" anymore. I am not sure if they understood what happened to me that summer at Creation or not, but I knew they didn't like me going away from the Catholic Church and I was really trying to not upset them anymore (though I don't think they saw that at all...) so I got confirmed. This did not happen without a long discussion with my confirmation teacher. We had a great heart to heart conversation about this and something she said to me really stuck with me. She said, "God knows your heart". She went on to tell me that anyone can go through the motions of confirmation, but it doesn't mean anything to God if it's not true in your heart. So, I went through the motions so as not to "disappoint" anyone, and got confirmed, even though I know that GOD knew where my heart was. That was such a relief to me to hear those words from Barb, my confirmation teacher. What a blessing and a burden lifter that I did not have to make the decision to NOT get confirmed. I was already in too much hot water with my parents at this point.
Bringing the subject back to baptism....... I have yet to get baptized but SO want to. Over the years, it's been a number of circumstances and reasons for why I haven't been. In high school, I don't believe my parents would have approved and I, quite frankly, did not want to bring up the subject. When I moved to Bellingham for college, it was really tough for me. I wanted to get baptized, but at the same time, I really wanted Cindy and a few other key people from back home to be there and it was unreasonable and selfish to think that they would drive 4 hours to watch my baptism. Then when I moved back to Yakima, I really have no excuses other than I was so busy with school and work and didn't really "belong" anywhere to a church since I went when I was able (but wasn't too often) and hadn't really found a church to call home yet. It's tough coming out of school, when you are not a "youth" anymore, you're no longer a college student, and you are not married, so you don't fit in with the couples either. It was a tough time. And also, by then, if I am being completely honest, I felt a bit embarrassed. Most Christians that I know have been baptized shortly after they become a Christian. So, the longer I waited, the more embarrassed I got and I guess I would feel weird. Like people would think I just became a Christian. ???? I don't know. Maybe this sounds silly to you, but I just didn't like the thought of getting baptized right along other people who have just given their lives to Jesus.
But I shouldn't be worried about what other people think of me. I need to just do it. So now, it comes down to HOW? WHERE? BY WHOM? Do I invite people to come? Hmmmm...... that would seem a bit weird now, I think? I just don't know.
BIG PRAYERS
The church we are going to now, Columbia Grove Covenant Church, is one that my husband and I are happy to call home and where we want to become members. They have a baptism this Sunday, but we are coming to Yakima on Sunday for my nephew, Jake's, birthday party. The next one isn't until January, I believe. Boo. So, I am anxious to get this done and have a new excitement about it, thanks to Lindsay, for kickin me in the butt and making me read the word.
Pastor Andrew has also been inspiring to me lately and I just love his sermons! A few weeks ago, he did a sermon about "what's your big prayer" and encouraged us to think about our big prayers and talked about how amazing God is and to not put limits on what He can do. He asked us to share our big prayers. I was praying, at that moment, that he didn't call on me to share! haha. Not that I didn't have a big prayer, but I couldn't choose one. My mind has been (and still is!) so jammed with big prayers, that I can't choose just one. Here are just a few of my "big prayers"
- That Shawn and I are able to bring our children up in a Christ-like way so that they turn out to be Jesus-lovin, bible-readin young ladies who have a passion to spread the word of Christ and to change the world.
- That Sarah's charity, Holden Uganda, would be SO blessed that they will have built all the needed wells in Uganda and have to move on to another country!
- That my own walk with the Lord will flourish and I will be as connected to Him as a doorknob is to a door!
- That my marriage will grow in the Lord and that we can come back to the place we used to be, of praying together and reading the bible together.
- That all teachers become Christians, or that more Christians become teachers and take over the public schools, caring for their students as Christ would.
- That all the orphans become un-orphaned and find a loving, caring home who will love on them like Jesus would.
- That all the homeless children in the valley find a home
- That the barriers of class, socialism and race be broken down in this person's life so she can learn to love EVERYONE, not just those who are like her.
- That the cycle of poverty in another woman's life be broken
- That this person walk with the Lord will grow and they can become a light to those around them.
- That people all around the valley will come to know the Lord as their savior.
I believe that is all for now. I really need to go to bed. Shawn went to bed quite a while ago. I had thought about watching Parenthood tonight (the new season started tonight!) but thought "there is no way I can stay up till 11!...... And here it is..... 11:37 and I am still awake.... hahaha. I am tempted to turn it on, but I should just wait until naptime tomorrow to watch it. MOPS starts tomorrow and I am so excited about it. hopefully not overly excited about it! haha. I don't want to be disappointed just because I've built it up in my head for so long, waiting for it to start!
I have a lot more pictures to post, but it will have to wait till next time. hopefully I will get to post again before the weekend! Have a great night, everyone! :)
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