A little clarification

I feel like I should explain a bit after my last entry.  Over the last month (longer for some of them), I have been coming across different people and being completely inspired by their stories and have been a reminder to me of God's grace, of His perfect plan, and a reminder to me that nothing is ours.  Not even our children.  We are blessed to be raising them up to love and serve our amazing God, but in the end, they are ultimately His.  Here are just a few of the people and a glimpse of their stories that have inspired me. 

Sarah and Chet Erwin

I have written of this couple on a previous blog entry.  Sarah was pregnant, having contractions and they were headed to the hospital to have their baby.  Though, they found that their sweet baby Holden had already gone to be with Jesus just hours before she delivered.  A cord "accident".  Though we all know that, in God's plan, there are no "accidents", no matter how devastating it is for us, here on earth.  Reading Sarah's blog has been super inspiring to me.  She is a strong Christian with an amazing strength and perspective on God's will.

Chelsea Jacobs

I found Chelsea's blog through Sarah's.  She lost her son at 34 (maybe it was 35?) weeks last September.  The amazing impact that little Chase has left in this worldin just a year is life changing.  Literally.  Chelsea has started 'His Chase', a foundation for orphans.  Quite inspiring.  They are in the midst of adopting a sweet young child from Ghana (I believe).  Another strong Christian, and God has certainly used this little bundle of love for so much more than ever imagined!  See, God does have bigger, better, plans for His children.  

Erin and Blair



 Erin's story just ran across my plate yesterday.  She lost her 36 hour old baby girl Gwen just last week.  Her story is heartbreaking (as they all are!).  She is another strong Christian, who is clinging to God for understanding, peace, and hope right now.  I can not imagine the agony she, and these other women must have felt and are still feeling. 

Baby Enzo

I have also written about Baby Enzo's story.  He was in an accident with his parents in Bremerton, WA.  He was in critical condition, and in the end, was taken by the Lord to be in Heaven.  Baby Zo's aunt has been keeping a blog, and it is amazing to read her and her families thoughts and also stories from others in the comments

            ***Sidenote:  I LOVE comments!  Don't feel shy about leaving a comment (or pressured....) if you so wish!  I love to read them.  Sometimes I feel like I am just writing to myself and that no one ever reads what I write (which is totally fine).  So feel free to leave a comment anytime..... I would love to hear your stories, ideas, thoughts, or feelings!***

Nikki
My sister.  Well, techinically step sister, but who likes that term?  She is currently pregnant, do anytime now!  YAY!!  She was suppse to have a baby shower the weekend before last, but the friend that was throwing her baby shower passed away unexpectedly the day before.  They are still not sure what happened and are still waiting for lab reports to come back.  Poor Nikki.  She has lost so many friends in her lifetime.  People that are WAY too young to die. 

Grandma Bechard
My grandma (my step mom's mother) has ovarian cancer and has been fighting it for over 5 years.  Only 20% of ovarian cancer patients survive 5 years or longer when the cancer has spread to other organs (which grandma's has).  She is a fighter and God has been oh so gracious and healing.  There have been many times when we thought she wasn't going to make it much longer.  Last Christmas, we were preparing for it to be her last.  God is amazing and she is still here with us, thriving and holding on to His grace. 

Again, these are just a few of the people the Lord has placed in my life.  Whether they are family, or I just stalk their blog..... He has a purpose for me following their stories.   There have been so many amazing people lately that I have met or read about. 

Shawn asks me why I am so interested in these stories of babies dying, people with cancer, and all these tragedies.  I don't really have an answer for him.  I have been drawn to these stories since I was a young girl, reading Lurlene McDaniel books.  She was my favorite author ever.  He asked me if I wished I had a story like these people to share with people.  I said no way!  I couldn't imagine having to live through one of these stories.  I have had my share of deaths in my life and went 7 years in a row with a loved one or close friend dying, but death doesn't seem to phase me.  It's not the dying that draws me in, it's the impact that life had on the world.  It's what God has done with the situation and how He is making a difference. 

I have wondered "what's my story?  How are you going to use me, God? What purpose does my life hold?  Sure, I have had things go wrong in my life.  Who hasn't?  But I look at my life and what can I complain about?  The fact that my window in my van doesn't roll down?  My closet and wardrobe selection isn't as expansive as I would like it?  That we will lose 15-20,000 dollars when we sell our house?  Or maybe that Hannah has been clingy, up in the middle of the night and pukes up A LOT?  I look at these families who have lost their children, and know that they long to have a child puking on them and clinging to them!

So I ask the question, WHY ME?  Why have you chosen me to bless so extravagently?  And why am I not doing anything about it?  What can I do to show my thankfulness?  These are the questions I am struggling with right now.  Not the typical 'why me' questions, but I am just at a loss of what to do with my life and how I am to serve the Lord and what plans He has for me and my family.  So yes.  I am HUNGRY. 

As I write this, I believe it is no accident that Oprah is on (a DVR special) about a family who lost all three of their children in a horrific car accident.  Two girls and a boy.  One year later, almost to the day, they gave birth to triplets.  A boy and two girls.  God is amazing. 

Have a blessed Friday.  My morning is already starting out as a blessing.  It is nearly 9:30 in the morning and both girls are still sleeping.  Why on earth am I so blessed?  Perhaps the Lord knew I needed to finish this blog.  Maybe He has bigger plans for it than me just 'getting it off my chest'. 

"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:10-12