So as I sit here, waiting for KaeLee to fall asleep (she did quickly, by the way...) I am humbled and brought, again, to a place where I am nothing but thankful for my girls and can't wait for them to wake up so I can kiss them all over. Then do it again. I find that when I am most frustrated with the girls or overwhelmed with things, God really shows me the blessings He has placed before me and brings me back to a place of humbleness and thankfulness.
I was reading a blog written by a college friend of mine. We lived in the same building and were in a bible study together. Amber Englert. A very special child of God. She really is amazing. Anyway, she is currently pregnant and is due in a couple of weeks, so it has been fun to read her pregnancy stories and see how her preperation for her new little guy is coming along. She has a friend that goes to her church who was pregnant also. Due just 2 weeks before Amber and they were both expecting little boys. In Amber's blog on Friday, she wrote that it had been one week since Sarah had her baby. And one week since their baby boy went to Heaven. I absolutely bawled my eyes out while reading this story. I went to Sarah's blog and read her stories as well and about her experience from the last week and I cried and cried and cried. I was in absolute amazement by their story and it has only caused me to count my blessings. How short life really is.
Sarah was having contractions on August 28th, so they went to the Hospital that morning. That is when they found out that their baby had already left this world. That evening, she gave birth to their son and they were able to spend hours holding and loving little Holden. They had a memorial service for him 2 days later and both of his parents each wrote him a letter, which she had posted on her blog. AMAZING! I was covered in tears by her story and one thing that Sarah wrote (a friend had told her this...) is that 'The first time Holden opened his eyes, he saw Jesus.' I cry just writing it. That is a beautiful thought. I thought I am glad I never had to think about for my children, but what a peaceful thought that is and how true!
God does amazing things and I am not sure what his plans were with this little life and why he wanted Sarah to carry him for 9 months and have so many fall in love with him, only to never be able to enjoy his life on earth is.... but I do know that their story has touched so many people, my own included! I just ask that you join me in prayer for this family and that Sarah and Chet find the strentgh that they need during this unbearable time for them. I could never imagine what this would be like and I never want to find out the hurt that they are experiencing. I could not imagine going to the hospital to deliver your first little bundle of joy, and coming home empty handed to a room that was decorated and ready to go for a child that will never get to see it.
So while my complaints seem like such a burden, it humbles me to know that people are without this daily joy in their lives and won't get to see their first-born grow and change and smile and laugh...... so I sit here, thankful for my girls, KaeLee and Hannah and all that God has provided for us and for the healthy little bundles of life that they are. Regardless of times when they drive me crazy or cry or whine. Shame on me for whinning because of it.
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