Here's to the New Year!

This has been an extremely tough week and I have been torn into pieces.  I feel like life has done a complete 180 and is turning this already emotional mess of a girl upside down.  Here's to the new year bringing HOPE, JOY, and all things GOOD.  Here Here.  

Happy New Year. 

Living a mediocre life full of blessings!

So I realize I haven't written in forever.  I'm getting horrible at it.  If I can blame anyone, I blame God.  Haha.  No, seriously, since I have started this bible study, I have been spending a lot of time on my daily questions and reading.  And I have been working on KaeLee's photobook that needs to be done by February (and I still have 13 months more to go!!)  It'll be a book from her 1st birthday to her 3rd.  I love making it though!  They changed the way you can do it though and it really allows me to get more detailed with the layouts, placement of textboxes, overlapping pictures, adding "stickers" and quotes and all sorts of things!  So it seems to be taking 100 times longer than her first year book!  

Oh, and nevermind the fact that November was pretty much non-existent!  I was in Texas for a week, came home for 2 days then left again for a week and a half for Thanksgiving and our family vacation.  I have started a post about Texas, but blogspot has been frustrating me to no end and posting pictures has been a nightmare!  I actually started the post about 3 weeks ago!  UGH.  There's got to be a better way to get pictures on here.......! 

So, anyway, I just wanted to write a quick update blog.  Mainly about baby #3! :) 

I bought our first baby items for this little one the other day!  I found an un-heard-of great deal on craigslist for a swing and a baby bath ($25 for both!!)so I jsut had to go check it out!  They were amazing and looked brand new!  And the family was super nice!  (It was all I could do to not stare in awe of their beautiful home and decor too!) They are the fisherprice rainforest theme.  Perfect for a boy or a girl!  I have been keeping my eye out for a bouncy seat and a jumperoo in this theme as well on craigslist!  :)  I actually found another great deal, but then saw that it was in Moses Lake and decided to just pass on making the drive.  I figured there would be other great deals. 

So, a lot of people have been asking how I am feeling.  My first response is "GREAT!!"  But then Shawn gives me the most confused look ever.  I later ask him what that look was for and he says "you don't feel great."  I say "what are you talking about".  He says "You're miserable."  haha.  So, I have discovered the greatest gift that God has given me: forgetfulness!  Let me explain. 

So every morning, I wake up, and have to take a few breaths, close my eyes again, and SLOWLY get out of bed.  Being careful not to faint, I slowly walk out to the living room and take a seat in my comfy chair and try to sip on some water.  You see, until about noon every day, I DO feel horrible.  I feel like I am going to pass out because I am so lightheaded and dizzy.  I feel like I need to eat, but at the same time, I feel like if I eat, I will immediately puke.  Or if I make too many sudden movements, I will surely spew.  But thankfully, I have only actually thrown up once.  Although, sometimes I think throwing up would be better than just FEELING like throwing up all the time! 

So why do I say I feel great?!?!?!  Well, for one, I think that I am just used to feeling like this every morning and have learned to deal with it by not running any errands in the mornings, not rushing to go somewhere, no chores in the mornings....... (oh, and I just feel completely exhausted in the mornings like I got NO sleep at all, no matter how much I actually got!)  and just sitting quietly, reading books to the girls, watching them play, or doing something online.  And I take full advantage of Shawn being home in the mornings to help me out and he has been so good to get up with the girls in the morning and let me sleep or just take my time getting out of bed.  And he has gotten the girls breakfast ready for them almost every morning lately and cleaned them up from breakfast.....!  I am super thankful for all his help.  And he does it all joyfully. 

But also, I have a great gift of forgetfulness.  By the afternoon, I have completely forgotten what I felt like in the morning.  I have been keeping a "journal" (aka: notes on any random piece of paper I can find!) all week to remind myself how I felt that morning.  I feel like the Lord has given me this gift so that I am able to truly enjoy my pregnancy.  I try to recall how I felt with my other two pregnancies...... if I was sick with them, when I started to show, if I got super tired really easy...... and all those other normal questions people ask me. 

At my last appointment with my midwife, she was asking me all these same questions........
Her: Do you get tired easily?
Me:  No more than I did before I don't think
Her: Do you go to the bathroom more often, or get up more in the middle of the night?
Me:  Hmm..... I don't think so.  But my husband would say I pee more than the average person anyway....
Her:  Have you thrown up or been feeling sick?
Me:  Ummm..... I threw up once, but other than that I feel pretty good.  A bit groggy in the mornings and a bit nauseated.... but nothing too terrible.  (oh, my memory is so skewed! haha)
Her:  Hmmmm....... well are you having ANY signs of being pregnant?  More emotional, sensitive, moody......?
Me: Hmmmm....... well, those are words that my husband would probably describe me as on a daily basis, pregnant or not...... so if it's any different, I couldn't tell ya.....


HAHA.  I'm thinking maybe she was getting annoyed with me by then?  I almost felt like I need to lie to her and tell her all these "symptoms" I was having just to assure her that I was pregnant!  haha.  But a few minutes later, she "checked"  and said I was definitely pregnant!  I was like"well, that's good, because my belly is sure growing and starting to look pregnant!" haha. 

My first trimester ends on Thursday!!  I can't believe that, actually!  The last couple of months have absolutely flown by and I have a feeling the next couple will as well with Christmas, New Years, and KaeLee's birthday!  Then probably the end of February is when we will find out if we are having a boy or girl!  YAY!! 

I also wanted to share with you all a fear of mine, so that perhaps you may join me in prayer.  My fear is that I am TOO blessed by God.  I fear this greatly because in the back of my mind I feel like there is going to be something BIG coming that is going to be really tough. 

It may just be my awesome gift of forgetfulness, but I have been blessed my whole entire life-- one after another after another!  Every single person I have met has encountered trials in their lives.  Sometimes many.  I have cried countless hours for many families and individuals who are suffering, mourning, struggling, stumbling, pleading for help, hanging on by a thread, jumping through obstacle after obstacle...... and I have nothing to complain about.  I have not struggled with anything.  Not of importance, anyway.  Of course, there was probably a couple of classes I struggled with in college, ,a couple of people in my lifetime I struggled to get along with..... but nothing big.  I have never done drugs, I have never had a drink of alcohol.  I waited until marriage before I had sex.  I have never been to the hospital for anything other than giving birth, s sprained ankle in middle school, and an earring that got closed up inside of my ear (definitely embarrassing to go to the ER for, by the way! haha.  while people were there with ACTUAL problems, I just had an earring stuck in my ear and they had to slice my ear a bit to get it out.... haha!) .  My kids have never had health problems or have ever had to go to the ER.  They have only ever had a mere cold or runny nose.   We have been blessed with always having a job, my ability to stay home with the girls........ and the list just keeps going and going. 

I was talking to my bible study women about this and telling them about my feelings of being "mediocre" and my fears of not having the type of "story" that other people have.  I don't have cancer.  I haven't against any addictions, myself or my kids haven't suffered health issues or have had surgeries or tubes in their ears.  All my pregnancies have been easy (hmm..... or so I remember... haha) and without complications.  And yada yada yada.  So, in the back of my mind, I am thinking of the saying "the calm before the storm".  It is eating me alive.  So my struggle is to daily give that fear to God and trust in His ways and in His plans.  I fear that this child I am carrying is going to be our trial.  Will this child be one full of hospital visits, medications, surgeries, or perhaps a disability?  All these, and much more, worse scenarios come to my mind that I am constantly having to push away and force them out of my head. 

So for now, all I can do is thank God for the blessings in my life.  And know that He has great plans for me and my family still ahead.  So will you pray that these thoughts are not able to enter my head and allow fear into my life? 

I am afraid I have rambled on and on and on.  Shawn has informed me that it sounds like I am writing a novel.... haha.  Sorry for the lack of pictures tonight, I just really didn't want to deal with uploading them.  I'd rather have a stress-less and relaxed rest of the night as I watch the finale of survivor! :)  Goodnight y'all!

Hannah the Comedian....

So it's 10:00 tonight and Hannah is still up in her crib, talking and playing.  She starts saying "pee pee. pee pee".  So I go up to her room to see what she's doing.  I get over to her crib and notice that she is sitting up withOUT her pajamas on.  Yup.  She took them off by herself.  She says "pee pee" again.  I ask her if she needs a diaper change and she says "ya!"  So I pick her up to change her and realize that she has NO diaper on either!  haha!  I said, "you trying to change your own diaper?" and she said "YA! YA!"  followed by a huge grin and a hilarious laugh!  How could I not smile and laugh along with her?  Even if she HAS been in bed for two hours without going to sleep yet..... (but, hey, at least she wasn't crying at all during those two hours.  Just simply playing with her baby and singing and running around her crib....)

She is so stinkin cute, it makes it so hard to be upset with her!  And when I am upset with her, it fades quickly when she tilts her head in front of mine and says "Hi Mommy!" and gives me a great big hug and kiss.  Awe.  How cute!  :)  Melts my heart every time. 

Perhaps this incidence is yet another clue that I should be potty training her....??  UGGGGGGHHHHHH.............!!!!  The thought is dreadful.  Pure dreadful.  ;) 

PINK or BLUE?

"From the fullness of his grace, we recieved one blessing after another."
John 1:16

PINK or BLUE?  That is the question that will be looming in the Cox household until about mid-January! :)  At least we are now in November and the time will FLY until mid January..... and probably a bit longer since January brings KaeLee's THIRD birthday!  (WOW!  I can't believe she will be 3 already in less than 3 months.) 

So we were planning to get pregnant again in March...... so it's just a little early....!  It seems like the wrong time at every angle, but we are trusting that God's timing is perfect and will be better than ours could have ever been. 

I have calculated my own due date as to be July 4th, but until I have my first appointment, I won't know for sure.  Ugh.  This means that I will be doing what I said I NEVER wanted to do...... have a baby in the summer!  I was very happy to be planning for our next baby's birthday to be in December!  But again, we are trusting that the Lord knows better. 

Becoming pregnant has made us start to think about our living situation and the fact that this house is getting smaller by the minute!  We were planning to stay here until March 2013, when our baby would be about 3 months...... perfect time to transition from our room to the baby's own room....!!  But now, baby will be almost a year old next March and can definitely (well, preferably!) not stay in our room that long!  I think the baby would definitely have attachment issues..... haha!  ANYWAY....... we have started to think about moving THIS March, when our lease is up.  It seems nearly impossible, but we have found the PERFECT land and it is in the most ideal location EVER!  We really would hate to lose this opportunity!  So we are meeting with builders, with bankers, and going over floor plans and touring model homes...... and it's quite exciting.  Shawn is getting super excited.  And when Shawn gets super excited about something, he doesn't stop thinking about it, researching about it and planning it until it happens....... haha.  So I think if things don't work out or it's more expensive than what we are thinking, he will be quite disappointed! (as will I!)  But we have to lean on the Lord and see if this is what we are supposed to do.  If we did do this, the houses would be ready next summer, which would be perfect to move after baby comes, but before harvest starts.....! :)  (perfect for transitioning baby to their own room!) ;) 

halloween was great!  The girls really got into it and were great at saying "trick or treat"!  I bought enough candy and goodies to hand out to 300 kiddos, since that is what we got at our last house....... but perhaps I should have done some asking around BEFORE I bought everything.....!  We got a whole whopping 19 trick or treaters!  Are you kidding me right now?!?!  What on earth will we do with all this candy?!?! 

Last Friday, the girls got to dress up in their costumes to go to the YMCA.  Every Friday, we go to a class called Toddlers in Motion and this week, they all came dressed up and had a costume parade and went trick or treating around the Y and got different treats like stickers, pencils, color pages, and other little trinkets.  They loved it!  Saturday, Shawn was still in Yakima so the girls and I hung out and cleaned house together.  Then we went to dinner that night with Ernie and Loretta.  Shawn came home that night and that's the night I took the pregnancy test.  I've pretty much known for about a week prior, but Shawn insisted I wait for him this time, when I take the test..... haha. 

Saturday was also a pretty great day for my little brother!  He had a cross country district meet in Spokane and he came in FIRST for East Valley!  He is only a freshman and he beat out all those Seniors!  Awesome!  Then he had homecoming (his first high school dance...... awwweeee.....), AND he found out he was going to be an uncle again....!  I'd say that's a pretty good day! 

Sunday we went to church, came home for lunch and the girls' nap, decorated LOTS of cookiees, then Megan cam over to watch the girls while Shawn and I went to our small group.  They had made carmel apples for us and they were delicious!!  :) 

So on with the pictures..... :) 

Hannah all bundled up at the pumpkin patch....!

And here's KaeLee all bundled up!

Feeding the animals with Daddy

Hannah couldn't be happier!  She just LOVES animals!

The girls got to "shop" by themselves in the little fruit stand shop... they loved that they had little carts just their size!  (and so did I!) So cute!

Hannah pointing out the animals....

KaeLee likes the Turkeys

The girls explore the teepees (I have no idea how to spell that and really don't feel like looking it up right now....)

Petting the goats

back in the teepee (okay, apparently these pictures are going to be a bit out of order....!)

Here's KaeLee shopping..... :)

Shawn and the girls having LOADS OF FUN at smallwoods harvest! haha

We let the girls paint their pumpkins this year and they loved it!  Except when KaeLee was "done" painting, she stuck her hands in the paint and smeared it everywhere, so her pumpkin ended up just being brown.... haha. 

Hannah had a blast painting her pumpkin!  I can't believe I forgot to get a picture of them with their finished masterpieces!  urgh!

Sharon came over to watch them paint.... the newspaper is laid out and ready for Shawn and I to carve pumpkins, but we didn't take any pictures...... oops.

Sisterly love.... the "rare" moments.... haha

KaeLee said "take my picture mommy!  haha

KaeLee came running downstairs and said "Mommy, you need to come take a picture of us!"  So I grabbed the camera and followed her upstairs.  This is what they were doing..... those goofy girls!  They found a way to climb into their baby's crib.... ha!

Shawn was in Yakima last week working, and the girls and I drove over for the day on Thursday to drop the girls off at my moms and Shawn and I went to a movie and dinner to celebrate our 4 year anniversary.  We went to the movie Courageous and it was really good!  I would reccomend it to you all!  Especially if you are a dad or plan to be one in the future!  And ladies, bring a BOX of kleenex!  (not just the trial size, either!) Then we went to dinner at Olive Garden..... YUM!  Anyway, my mom got the girls a halloween gift of a dress up tiara, high heels and a wand.  So here is hannah in her tiara!

And KaeLee

Hannah is trying to walk in her heels!  haha

KaeLee was hilarious to watch while she tried to walk in them.... she looked like a little old lady all hunched over.... haha

This is from the YMCA on Friday. 

Hannah wasn't too sure what was going on.....

This one is way out of order...... this was after trick or treating when the girls got to open their gift from mommy and daddy and look at what they collected while trick or treating!  :) 

This was the group of moms and toddlers at the Y

The girls go trick or treating!!  Waiting at the first door!

Walking to the next house....

getting a bag of candy from another house!

"Do you really need to be taking my picture right now, Dad?!?!"

"NEXT!"

Waiting patiently......

The next door neighbor gave the girls little dr. suess books!  How sweet!

More trick or treating! (I think we only went to about 10 houses...)

And more.....

Reading the books mommy and daddy got the girls...

Hannah loves them!

Of course, KaeLee wouldn't want to look up!  Argh that girl!

Looking at all of her goodies

She is so excited about her candy stash!  haha

Showing off some more!

Happy Hannah as a cute Kitty!

The girls in our 3rd annual halloween pose! (well, 2nd for hannah!)

Silly girls!

Trying not to look at me while smiling....

another silly face! :)

Well, Happy Halloween everyone, and Happy November!  We have a lot to be thankful for during this season of thanks!  We hope you all have had as great of a halloween as we did!!