For The Record

Just thought I'd get this down in writing so that down the road I can have the pleasure of saying, "But you said...!!"  haha. 

So last night, Shawn must have been having a good daddy day, because he told me that we can have a third child.  Not too surprising, since I knew he would say this eventually....

BUT

he also said that if we have another girl, he wants to try ONE more time to have a boy!   WHAT?!?!  FOUR kids??  Silly Shawn..... he said his ABSOLUTE cut off was 3.  I always said that I would like 4, but knew it would never happen!  But now, there is hope at the end of the tunnel! 

Let me make myself completely clear here, though.  We do not plan on trying for another baby any time soon.  Maybe in a year and a half or so?  According to our "plan", we would like to get out of this house, move into the next house (1 away from our dream home, ideally) in a year and a half.  We would like to get settled, choose our location, save up some money, and actually be living comfortably off of a profit from the orchard instead of a loan like we are now (it will take us 2-3 years to pay off the loan before we start making complete profit from the orchard).   So that's the PLAN, but we all know that while we are making plans ourselves, our God has a sense of humor and has a plan of his own up his sleeve.  This happened to my cousin, who had just gotten rid of all of her baby stuff, and then, YUP.  She got pregnant.  Haha.  God definitely had other plans for them!   :) 

For any interested couponer....

So, I have gotten a lot of questions about my couponing stories about how I do it, where I get my coupons, how much time does it take, how many stores do I go to.... and about a thousand others. 

AND I LOVE IT!!

I love that other people have gotten interested in it and I would love to help you save money!  So this blog will be an attempt to answer those questions and more.  And feel free to ask any other questions you may have by commenting, Facebooking me, or emailing me at coxnikki@hotmail.com

Why did you start couponing? 
I have always been a "bargain hunter" and hardly ever buy anything unless it is on sale.  I always try to wait for a great sale that makes the item I am buying 50% off or more.  Yes, I shop the clearence racks and find great deals by shopping online.  But, when it comes to grocery shopping, you can't go to the back of the store and shop last seasons sale..... so after watching extreme couponing on TLC, I was like "I can do that!" 

Where do I start?
Just start by collecting coupons.  Build up your stash and find a way to organize them that works for you.  Some people file them in a shoebox, some people file the inserts by date, some people (me!) use a coupon binder.  I personally file mine alphabetically.  Others also organize by categories, or aisles of the store (freezer, canned goods, dairy, meat, etc).  I also have 2 separate sections of my binder, one for food and one for non-food items.  I started with them all together, but then I accumulated too many coupons that it got to be a lot of flipping through the pages, searching for my coupon.  I also file my inserts by date, as well.  Since I order whole inserts, I usually will just cut one up, put it in my binder, and put a sticky note on the back saying how many more I have and where to find them.  Oh, and I use baseball card holders to hold the coupons. 

And Start with just a couple of stores, or even just one.  Find their coupon policy online or ask for a copy in the store and read it through carefully.  And check back at least once a month to ensure it's the same.   Find a couple of coupon bloggers (preferable local to you!) and read their blogs regularly.  A few blogs that I follow are

thekrazycouponlady.com  my favorite
tammileetips.com  my other favorite!
happymoneysaver.com
thriftynorthwestmom.com
frugalchicliving.org

These fabulous ladies are also on facebook! So "like" them and you immediately start seeing the deals in front of your eyes!  I also have used couponmom.com as a resource as well. 
Don't try to be "extreme" on your first day of couponing.  Start out small.  A few items at a time.  Your stock pile WILL grow!  And you WILL find great deals!  Extreme Couponing is not realistic.  I have read many interviews of those people and they all say they have never made trips that big in their life and will never do it again...... it was simply for TV.  They normally only come home with 3-4 shopping bags a week or less.  So don't be discouraged if you are not bringing home a retail value of $1200!! 

And there is no need to clip every coupon you see!  A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself this:
Will my family use the product? Even if I snag it for free, will it get used? Can it be donated? Don’t save the coupon if you answer NO to these questions.  Be an extreme couponer, not an extreme hoarder!

And if you would like, there are some groups I am sure you can find online that do coupon exchanges that you can attend, or you can mail your unwanted OR your EXPIRED coupons to military families who are allowed to use expired coupons for up to 6 months past expiration.  If you need an address of where to send them, please let me know and I would be happy to give it to you!
Where do you get your coupons from?
I have quite the variety of sources.  I actually don't know where to start for this question..... haha.   But here is the list:
The newspaper.  Know what inserts come in your paper though.  Seattle Times does not get Red Plum.
Friends and Family.  My mom saves my inserts, and if I go over to my dad's house, or another good friend or family, I raid their newspaper pile if they are not couponing themselves.
Dumpster Diving.  No, I don't actually get into a dumpster.  I go to the local recycling center and dig through (but do NOT get into) the big o bins of newspaper.  I actually find quite a few most of the time.  I go every Monday.  I have ran into other coupon hunters and a couple people that were looking for box tops for their local elementary school.  Make sure you contact your own local recycling center to make sure this is okay with them.  Most of the time it's just fine, but you don't want to get accused of trespassing or something like that.  I called and asked if I was allowed to take newspapers out of the bins if I wanted to. (too embarrassed at the time to admit I was coupon searching!) and the lady just kind of laughed and said "you lookin for coupons?"  haha.  It made me feel better that I wasn't the only one asking.... haha.
Coupon Clipping websites.  My favorites are westcoastcouponclipping.com or eastcoastcouponclipping.com.  West Coast one sells individual coupons, most for .05 cents each with a maximum order of 20 per coupon.  They ship fast and they are based out of Tri-Cities.  East Coast sells coupons also, but I use them for their insert sales.  They sell whole inserts (like smartsource, red plum and P&G) for only .45 cents each, with a $2.85 flat shipping.  Since a newspaper costs $2 (in my town, anyway), it is WAY cheaper, to just buy the inserts from them.  They have a 5 insert minimum order.  Ebay.  I have not done this, but I have heard that this is also a great way to get whole inserts or individual coupons.  Just be sure to check the credentials of the seller to ensure quick delivery and great reviews. 
Online coupon websites.  I like coupons.com, cool savings, smartsource, red plum, cellfire.  There are TONS of sites out there.  Check them often; they usually add new coupons the beginning of each month and also towards the beginning of the week.  There is a 2 limit print per computer on most coupons, but sometimes you get lucky and can get up to 4 per computer (like I did today with a HOT coupon!).  This is when having more than one computer in the house is handy!
Online Retail Websites.  Sites such as Target (they have a TON!), Fred Meyer, Safeway..... have coupons on their websites.  Check your local or your favorite grocery store to see if you can print some out or if you can load them onto your card.  And remember that most places with allow you to use a store coupon WITH a manufacturer coupon, making the discount even deeper!  This is called "stacking" in the coupon world..... :) 
Contacting Manufacturers.  I have not done this yet, but have been wanting to start this and I will as soon as I get a contact list organized.  I have heard many others say that they contact 1-2 companies a day and tell them how much they love their product and they usually send them coupons for free items in the mail as a thank you.  As soon as I compile a list of companies I want to contact and their contact information, I plan to start this! 
On Products and In Stores.  Keep your eyes peeled!  Coupons are everywhere! They have them on tear pads next to items, they have them on products that you can peel off once at the register, they have little machines (called blinkies) that print out coupons in random aisles.  There are coupon baskets at FredMeyer that people toss their unwanted coupons into.  There are coupons in the weekly ads.... they are just about everywhere you look.  And be sure you keep an eye out for promotion on the products as well.  I recently just paid about $15 for cereal and will be getting a $20 gas card in the mail for buying them because of a promotion they were having on the box. 

How much time do you spend couponing?
I personally LOVE to coupon, so I don't mind spending the time it takes to get the best deals.  I spend an hour every Monday going dumpster diving, I spend about a half an hour to an hour, going over the ads (Wednesday grocery ads and Sunday ads as well...... usually just Target and Fred Meyer on Sundays).  I spend about 2 hours grocery shopping every week (I take my time, though, since it's my time without my girls.... haha) and I am usually online every night looking at some sort of coupon site while my husband and I catch up on our DVR.  You can spend as much time as you would like couponing.  I will tell you that you will spend quite a bit of time cutting coupons at the beginning, while you stock up your coupons and get them organized.  Once you have a system though, it will get easier and easier and you will be able to cut your time in half! (at least!)

I hope this information is helpful to you!  My brain is overloaded at the moment with information and I am beginning to get a headache from thinking so hard, so I think I should be done for the night.  If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask!

A New Heart

So today, my heart was completely renewed.  Oh, how quickly God can answer prayers!  So, after hearing some pretty terrible words last night, I was broken, torn down, and cut into pieces, not knowing where to begin to put myself back together again....... or if I ever could. 
Church this morning was the biggest blessing and God spoke directly to me.  It's funny how that happens.  Today's teaching was about words.  How powerful words are and how it takes so many kind words to build someone up, but it takes so few, even just one perhaps, to cut someone so deep. 

Pastor Andrew had everyone write down words that have been said to you that have cut you so deep and have changed you and affected you so negatively.  Words like useless, worthless, ugly, fat.... etc.  We wrote them down and during communion, we all put the notecards into a shredder at the foot of the cross and picked up a new notecard from the cross.  We were trading our sorrows and our shame for the good of the Lord.  (Yes, we sang that song during worship).  The new card says this:  "For we are God's masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago."  Ephesians 2:10

This was only the second time I have attended this church.  My heart is torn between two churches, and I truly can't decide which one to call home.  But that's a whole other story.  I felt pretty dumb though at this service.  I didn't really care, but afterwards I laughed at myself, thinking, no one is going to want to be friends with the new weirdo girl in the third row who bawled the whole service.  haha.  Whatever.  The teaching was just SO refreshing to me and it hit my current situation spot on.  I was able to let go of those hurtful words and know that they are not true.  And that God's word is truth and He says I am His masterpiece. 

The other part of the teaching this morning though, was not just about words that have affected YOU, but also about the words WE use towards others.  He asked us what kind of word diet are WE on and what words do you allow in your vocabulary.  Are they words that build people up or cut them down? 

Luke 6:45 says this:

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.  

People often talk about others needing a tongue replacement because of the harsh, angry and hurtful words they speak, but Luke is telling us different.  The mouth speaks what the heart is full of.  Is your heart full of anger?  or Hurt? or Joy?  It is not a tongue transplant we need, but rather a heart transplant.  If your heart is full of love, your mouth will speak loving words.  God is love.  Fill your heart with the Lord. 

This was so powerful to me this morning (well, it still is.....) I realize that in the midst of my anger, I don't always use loving words either.  This is yet another reason why I need the Lord to renew my heart each day.  This why I need to cling to this verse:

2 Corinthians 4:16
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

So thank you, Pastor Andrew, for your amazing words today.  Just the thing I need.  And thank you, Lord, for speaking to me so clearly today. 

I was able to get out of the house today and go visit my family.  This was also refreshing.  It had been over a month since I had seen them, when before the move, I saw them at least once a week.  I even enjoyed my drive (despite KaeLee crying for half of the drive home).  I was able to really soak in the words that were spoken today and was able to sing along to my worship music and truly enjoy being in God's presence. 

Shawn stayed home today and when I got home, I found the desk from the office in our bedroom.  I am not sure what to make of this yet.  He was so adamant yesterday about the office not being turned into one of the girls' bedrooms.  He was sleeping when I got home, so I have to wait till tomorrow to figure this out.  I was not set on separating the girls and merely mentioned the idea, but now that he has moved the office, I can't really tell him 'nevermind, I'll figure it out' can I?  Hmmmmm....... I just don't know what to do.  I know exactly what he will say if I say anything negative about it though.  He'll say "I can't please you.  You complain that the girls don't sleep well in the same room and when I move the desk for you, you complain about that too."  Argh.  Why is communication so hard?!?! 

For now, I must go to bed.  Two late nights in a row...... Ahhhhh!!!  Hopefully we wore the girls out well enough today that they will sleep in for me tomorrow! :)  What a treat that would be.  If not, I may just have to join them during nap time! Goodnight y'all.  My new heart and I are hitting the hay.

An honest Post

I started this blog originally to allow myself to be honest.  A place I could run to to jot my thoughts and think out loud.  I have always loved writing.  Writing journals, letters, poems, stories, whatever.  I always thought I would become a writer, but soon realized that I am not so imaginative.  haha.  But writing is the way I communicate best.  I am not good with words and can not formulate thoughts and ideas quickly when I am asked an in-depth question.  My brain is a little slow and I need some time to think things through.  I was never good at bickering with my brothers because I was not quick with my words and I was not witty.  Some writing has always been my outlet.  Tonight, I am reverting back to those roots and getting something off of my heart.  I don't open my heart up to many people, but for some reason, writing it down or talking about it to a stranger has always been easier for me. 

Forgive me if I offend you.  And expect the unexpected.  It may seem like it's not me who is writing.  But tonight, you are seeing my raw heart. 

.........................................................

A site that many people may need to take a visit to:

http://www.howtoguides365.com/how-to/good-husband/

I find myself really frustrated tonight.  Helpless.  Alone.  Worthless.  So maybe I am not worthless, but sure feel it a lot.  Helpless and alone, yes.  Honestly, there are many times that I have regretted moving away from my hometown.  My comfort zone.  My familiarity.  My safety.  I have good days and bad days, but most teeter towards the bad.  My life has been turned upside down in a matter of moments.  I am now the sole responsibility of two beautiful little girls.  Or at least I feel that way. 

Because my "job" now is to be a mother, I am expected beyond belief to deliver.  I feel like I am on the verge of being fired.  My heart breaks when I think about it.  So often, I wonder why I was allowed to have children.  Why the blessing of children when I am unable to care for them properly and raise them. 

I was told tonight that I don't know how to parent and that the girls act the way they do because of me.  And it's my fault.  Basically I felt like I was being given a review for my job and I was in the needs-much-improvement category.  And the reasoning behind this is because I will not allow spanking in this house.  No, I won't.  And nothing will change my mind.  It is NOT an option. 

I just feel so broken and lost and lonely and, quite frankly, depressed.  I feel like I am grieving.  Grieving my old life.  My life that involved familiar places and faces.  A paying job. An extended family.  A support system.  Here, I just feel so alone.  (gee, have I mentioned that a few times....??  good grief.) 

I think of this verse often:
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
and sometimes I just look at it blankly.  What do I have to be thankful about?  Even in this circumstance?  Of course I can think of a million things to be thankful about, but not necessarily the circumstance I am in.  That's a tough one.  So does it happen every day?  No.  But I try.  So then I cling to this verse: 

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
I have to believe and pray that what is seen is temporary.  I am living for the glory of God and need to remind myself of that every day.  He did not bless me with these children to please me.  He did so because He knows that I will bring them up in a way that pleases Him.  In a way that will glorify Him.  I cannot lose heart over piddly little things.  And I need to be renewed every day.  Absolutely.  I need to cling to the Lord to get me through each day.  But I don't want to just get through each day.  I want to flourish.  And to do so, I need to not be focused on me, but on God.  Living my life to serve Him. 

Which brings me to the next verse I need to cling to:

Galatians 1:10
Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.
If I attempt to please man, I will fail.  For I am not perfect and man seeks perfection.  The only perfection is the Lord.  I will CHOOSE to live my life as a servant to Him.  Renew my heart day by day Lord, so that I may serve you and live the life YOU have for me. 

For now, I need to go to bed.  I may not have made any sense, whatsoever, but I feel renewed and have been able to take a deep breath and allow the Lord to remove the weight from my shoulders.  For now.  I need now to go to bed.  My eyes are tired.  My body is tired.  And my heart is broken. 

Lots of Pictures!

Okay, so here are a bunch of pictures.  And I was having some major issues with getting them on here for some reason, so they are super out of order, but here we go anyway.....

hmm...... these first three are super out of order.  You will find a few more later of them in their swimsuits.  Here, Shawn is making a fountain of water with the hose.  They took forever before they would go under it, but soon loved it.

Hannah goes down the slip n slide slide and KaeLee is attempting to drink the water out of the water table....???? Yuk.

Hannah playing with the table.  She likes it much better when she gets it to herself!

Fast forward quite a ways......! This was just earlier this week.  This is the girls' and I's daily routine of getting the mail.  They love to go get the mail with me. 

KaeLee stops to pick some grass (as they usually both do...)

And Hannah stops to smell the roses (as they usually both do)

Fourth of July!  Isn't she a beauty?!?!

Awwwww......

The girls together.  It is getting increasingly difficult to get a good picture of the two of them together.  I know at some point this will change, right? Whenever they start listening, maybe?  When is that again........???????

The girls are watching fireworks with Christina

Grandma Sue, Grandpa Jon and Christina help the girls with their poppers.

Alyssa lights the fireworks....... well, the smoke bombs.  I would hope she wouldn't stand over it like this if it were an actual firecracker..... haha.

See?  Smoke bombs.  KaeLee liked the different colors!

Great Grandma Loretta with Hannah and Christina with KaeLee

KaeLee made a castle the other day and she came and got me to show me.  She was SO proud of herself!  I couldn't decide which picture to use, so I put them all up...... haha.

And just a random shot of Hannah..... haha. 

And rewind quite a bit again..... .back to outside in their swimsuits....
KaeLee playing outside with her water table

The girls playing with their water table

So happy!

Hannah going down the slide.  She can do it by herself pretty good now!  They went in their pool first and then down the slide and made the slide super fast.  Their facial expressions were quite funny!

So cute!

What a big girl!

This was hilarious how she would tip toe around the grass.  I guess she didn't like being barefoot.  I ended up putting shoes on them and they were much better.  haha.  But it was pretty cute!

The girls playing their swimming pool...... it's getting a bit small for the both of them, so I am excited for the end-of-the-season sale on swimming pools this year! They make some pretty cool ones, I've noticed!

 I can never get them looking at the same time.... Argh

Going down the slide... (re-wind.... this is a different day...haha)

KaeLee is just not quite fast enough for Hannah.... or rather, KaeLee takes her time because she knows it irks her sister..... haha

Rewind farther to Cashmere Founders Day.  This was during the parade.  The horse came within a foot of the girls.  They were pretty excited about that!

One of the floats during the parade

The gang watching the parade.... Rick and Sharon, Shawn and the girls

More parade

 Another float

And more parade....

Hannah waiting for the helicopter....

The girls drag Grandma Sharon around the park a bit.... haha

Yay!  The helicopter has finally arrived!  (It drops a TON of ping pong balls that are color coded and the kids make a mad dash to collect them and then you go turn them into the booth for prizes)  It was pretty fun to watch, except the helicopter was quite late!

Waiting the the parade to start!

We played in the park for a while before the ping pong drop and silly me decided to try the slide that I could barely fit on..... haha.  it was way to steep for little miss Hannah to go by herself.  (speaking from experience since Shawn decided to just let her go by herself the first time and she about flew over the edge!  Crazy Daddy!

"wow! That's fast!" says KaeLee after she gets done flying down the slide.... haha.

Daddy's turn to squeeze his butt down that thing!

Grandma Sharon playing with KaeLee

re-wind a bit further..... KaeLee surrounded Hannah with (most) all their stuffed animals and dollies into the laundry basket.  Hannah loved all the attention from her big sissy!

Where's Hannah?!?!

Hmmmm....... back to Founders day at the park.... haha.  Shawn pushing KaeLee.  She loves it, as you can tell

Mommy got to push Hannah.  She loved it as well!

Okay, rewinding a bit to the morning of Founders day while we are at home...... The girls are having a tea party!

mmmmm.... that's some good tea!

Hannah really likes her tea parties!  She set everything up and was patiently waiting for KaeLee to join her..... haha

Rewinding a bit further..... to Father's Day.  KaeLee helps mommy cut out coupons! We love coupons!

Hannah loves her cars!  Look at that adorable smile! :)

KaeLee giving mommy a kiss

KaeLee helps daddy open his Father's Day presents

Daddy and the girls on Father's Day

And this would be the reason I kicked the plants outside!  The owner left 2 houseplants in the house and one was filled with these marbles all over it (for the top 3 inches at least).  I have never liked having them around and made Shawn construct something to cover the marbles so they wouldn't get into them.  But Hannah is WAY too smart and figured it out anyway!  So this is why she was super quiet while I was making dinner!  So after 3 months of stressing over these in the house, I finally kicked them out!

In other news, Hannah is starting to expand her vocabulary tremendously and is talking up a storm! She is getting so big lately and so tall!  KaeLee is still the interpreter in the house though and so everything Hannah says gets repeated.  It's so cute to listen to KaeLee talk to Hannah though and teach her different things.  Hannah is loving her word books right now and KaeLee likes to look at them with her and pointing the different things out to her.  She says "where's the kitty Hannah?" Then she takes her finger and points to it on the page.  Then she will say "what does a kitty say, Hannah?" (Hannah says meow) and KaeLee says, "Yeah!  Good Job Hannah!"  haha.  It's pretty darn cute.  She just may end up being a teacher..... ;)

Tomorrow we are headed to Yakima for the day.  The girls are pretty excited. KaeLee know now that when we are going to go see Grandma and Grandpa and Kory and Konner, (and Copper and Buddy -- the dogs -- adds KaeLee) that she has to take her nap in the car.  She says, "I go to sleep in the car." yup.  poor thing.  I'm sure that can't be too comfy.  Sometimes, when we are out running errands in the car and it has been "too long", she will say "I take a nap in the car?  KaeLee close her eyes?"  haha.  Apparently it has been too long and she is confused as to whether she is supposed to be sleeping in the car.... haha. 

Oh, and KaeLee pooped in the potty again last night.  It's getting to be a rare occurrence around here again.  I told her that she had better poop in the potty because I wasn't going to change a poopy diaper (she had already been in bed for 30 minutes before this occurred..... another nightmare going to in the Cox residence!).  She tried and tried and was pushing so hard.  I almost wanted to tell her to stop; that it was okay if she couldn't...... but then she DID IT!  I think she was as surprised as I was!  When I was putting a diaper back on her, she was saying "I did it!!  I pooped in the potty just like mommy and daddy!  I just pushed it out.  It was hard, but I did it all by myself!  KaeLee went poopy in the potty, not in her diaper."

Bedtime has become QUITE the battle and I regret ever even THINKING those two could share a room.  All they do is jibber jabber and giggle and make faces at each other forEVER before they fall asleep and I am not quite sure what to do about it.  It is super frustrating and Shawn and I disagree about what to do and that makes it even more stressful.  Ugh.  So nothing gets accomplished and they don't actually fall asleep until 9:30 most nights, even though they are in bed by 8:00. 

Anyway, that's all that I will talk (or complain about, in Shawn's words.) about for now.  My eyes are getting tired of looking at the screen and my blood pressure is rising from the girls still being awake and my ears are annoyed by the sound of constant clicking as Shawn plays his video game.  Boy, am I ever in a grumpy mood.  I wish these girls would just go to sleep already so that I can go to sleep! Goodnight, y'all!